No sleep for the wicked

No sleep this weekend. Why? Cos I was busy fantasising about a certain collegue of mine, imagining what it would feel like to kiss him, really kiss him, since I've only given him friendly happy-birthday pecks so far. Now, I know, that previously I decided that he was off-limits, but after some encouragement from a rather surprising source - my mother, I gave him a call Friday-morning, using a work-related excuse, of course, which turned into a chat-session. Now, I do realise that this is nothing more than flirting, and that dreaming about him, and losing sleep about him, is ridiculous, but I can't help it. Maybe it's hormones, maybe my heart's stupidly set on him. Since I don't think I'd recognise love (or even being in love) if it took a piece out of my ass, I can't be sure.

I do know that I'm going to miss his sexy voice when he goes on leave this Friday. But, I'm hoping that having no contact for a few weeks will cool my heels. He's just another unavailable male, and since I know that my pattern is to be attracted to unavailable men, I also know that I have to do somthing about stopping it, before I drive myself nuttier. I was hoping to have contact with him before he goes, but today I'm kinda against the idea. His office is on another floor of my building, and I can always think up some excuse to visit that floor, since it's a vital part of our business, but he has no reason at all to visit my floor. So, the only contact we have is always initiated by me, which I'm growing very tired of. People are starting to question my motives for being there, which worries me, too close to the truth. And, I don't want to be responsible for his reputation taking a dive. (And since I have the G-team (Gossipers) watching me, that might happen soon). So, I'm gonna try to stay away. And not drive myself crazy for not being able to stop daydreaming, and nightdreaming about him. Sheesh!