Better now

Ok, I'm better today. Not great, but I have smiled since getting out of bed, and since it's not even 8 yet, that's a good sign.

Had a call from one of my friends last night, explaining that she'd met the guy I was seeing (with the drinking problem) and that he hit on her. Now, she obviously didn't tell me everything, but he has her number, and has been calling and texting. My first reaction was anger, how could she? Then, I tried to figure out who I was actually angry with, and why. The who part - him, for being so terribly male, and trying just about anything to get into someone's pants. (Someone who, if anything he told me was true, is SO not his type). The why - I think I might want him to still miss me enough not to want to screw anyone else. (Which is ludicrous, let's say it together, "He is male"!, after all). She said that once she realised it was him, she left it, although I don't altogether believe her, and told her that she was being nasty, and that he might actually really like her. The conversation got a little stilted after that, and she hung up pretty quickly. Now, it just feels weird, and I can kinda understand why most friends don't date their friend's ex'es. But, I feel that if she really likes him, she should go ahead and see him, maybe it's meant to be. Maybe she can mean enough to him to stop drowning himself.

Ok, over that. I did finally chat to my collegue yesterday, quite by accident. My boss sent me on an errand to his floor, and I shouted a greeting as I ran past his office. His reply made me turn back. First thing I did, tattle on his rude receptionist like a three-year old! I told him that I tried to reach him to ask a favour, but that I couldn't get past her. He laughed and said I should ignore her, and come straight in. He insisted I should tell him the favour I wanted to ask, so I did, and he said that I was welcome to keep the gifts there. So I brought them this morning, and will go in a while. He told me that I had to come visit him before he went on leave, which sounds promising, but I am not going to let my mind go it's usual cooky, obsessive, scary route in planning 200 different scenarios of what might happen.

I got very emotional when I told him that my son had left for his holiday, and I suddenly realised that that was a very big contributing factor to my feeling crappy. More so than I thought. If you take into account that my days are filled with looking after my son from my waking second till I pass out on my bed, it's hardly surprising that not seeing him for more than a month should upset me. Pretty normal.