Present/Pleasant state of mind

Sometimes reading that someone else is going through the same shit as I am, makes the misery seem silly. Came across a very interesting blog written by a Saudi Arabian lady, and lo and behold, we have the same problem!

Brief summary of said problem:

Having failed at romantic liaisons in the past, we now choose emotionally unavailable objects of affection, get fucked (sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively, sometimes both) and then have lengthy lamentations on whhhyyyyyy .....

You might be able to tell from the above tone, I am feeling better. Misery and I have temporarily parted ways.

Strange, seeing as I have still not heard anything from JC, someone attempted to steal my car (third time this year), and when unable to, took the radio as consolation. Plus, I haven't slept in 3 days (I'm an insomniac, in case I haven't mentioned that before).

When lying in bed, staring at the dark ceiling with burning eyes, I've taken to fantasising about kissing a certain collegue, and man!, is that doing wonders for my libido! Problem is .... he's living with someone, although he vehemently denies being seriously involved (duh!), and calls her a "housemate". We've been working together for years, and have always had lots of chemistry, and I've made a point of flirting quite outrageously. The kissing fantasy is based on kissing him on birthdays, and jeesh! am I sorry I can't do that more! It feels like he has the potential to be a REALLY brilliant kisser, something that registers very highly on my Richter scale. He recently asked me why I never sit down in his office, and I came to the conclusion that I find his huge desk and quiet manner intimidating, so I always hover around the door, ready to run, but now, I am damn happy about that desk, and very determined to keep my inner nympho firmly reigned in, since I get the distinct urge to crawl hands and knees over that desk, and plant myself in his lap, until we either spill onto the nearest flat surface, or he bodily removes me.

Anyway, I'll probably have to find some kind of release for all this pent-up energy, but that's a problem for another day, celibacy and my track record, is NOT a pleasant read! Although celibacy is the automatic default for me, when not in a serious relationship, it does NOT fit me well, and I feel like a horse being ridden with a bit in its mouth, with the painful, chafing, hateful thing, a permanent reminder of an unnatural state of affairs. It gets so bad that I break out in goosebumps when someone just touches me in the most innocent way, like my skin has a life of its own, and wishes it had suckers (like an octopus) to draw that person closer, and have my way with them.

Damn!