I am not coping. This is fact.

My daily programme looks as follows:

06:00 Wake up, damn myself for being alive, get up
06:10 Force / shout my 6-year old out of bed.
06:11 Try to get him to decide what to have for breakfast
06:15 Force my son to decide what to have for breakfast
06:18 See that he eats
06:20 Start ironing his school clothes
06:22 Take his clothes to where he’s laying on the couch, ask him to get dressed
06:26 Get dressed myself
06:30 Threaten him to get him to dress
06:33 Ask him to jump on his trampoline (therapist recommended this for better concentration at school)
06:35 Shout at him to come brush his teeth, brush own teeth
06:38 Force him to brush his teeth
06:40 Try to get everybody out of the house, after putting his lunch in his bag, and grabbing something like an apple for myself.
06:45 See what a mess I am, in the car’s rear-view mirror.
07:15 Drop him off at school
07:25 Arrive at work
Work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work
12:00 Use lunch time to pick up groceries for the house and dinner, reading label after label to ensure Misha is allowed to have it.
Work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work
16:00 Leave desk to walk the 2km’s to TAFKA Chief Advisor’s office, with my arms full of bags
16:15 Arrive, take a brief break to read the local paper
16:30 Leave with TAFKACA
16:40 Pick Misha up from school
17:00 Arrive home
17:10 Settle Misha to watch an hour of cartoons
17:15 Start dinner
18:00 Serve dinner, and actually sit down to eat my own dinner.
18:30 Try to get Misha to do homework.
18:40 Force Misha to do homework
19:10 Comfort my crying son, who gets so frustrated with homework that he cries every night
19:12 Leave his room so he won’t see me cry because I am so freaked out by how much he struggles
19:20 Sit down to watch a programme, while “brushing” him (another technique recommended by therapist)
19:30 Serve dessert, and get him something to drink, make myself coffee
20:30 Brush Misha’s teeth
20:35 Tuck Misha in
20:40 Pack Misha’s lunch for tomorrow
21:00 Sit in front of the tv, mind churning, trying to swallow down the panic
21:25 Feed the elderly dog who sleeps inside
21:30 Take a bath
22:00 Prepare the perculator for tomorrow morning
22:15 Brush my teeth
22:30 Lie in bed, trying to calm down and sleep
22:45 Feel the tiredness seep through my being, wish I was dead.
23:00 Decide it’s useless to cry, since it only makes my eyes puffy, and doesn’t change anything. Wish I don’t wake up tomorrow morning.

The End (I wish)

Rinse, Repeat.