My Life Is Complicated

An idiot I used to know told me this once, as an excuse not to have to deal with me. (On an aside, I find it interesting how I struggle to chug along my pleasantly neutral lines these days, I used to be able to call ANYONE “nice”.)

Aaaaanyway, initially, it really pissed me off that he would use such a flimsy excuse. Then, I thought about the remark, and came to the conclusion that, although he used it as a really bad reason to avoid being honest with me, he was actually right, in a round-about kinda way.

I’ve even been able to discern certain reasons as to why someone else might perceive this to be accurate, which I will now proceed to list (in no particular order):

• I am a single mom, and place my son’s welfare above everything else;
• We share a house with my mom, who is unable to afford living alone, so should I find alternate accommodation, she’s basically homeless;
• I expect to be treated as an equal, and not a ‘helpless’ woman;
• We collectively have 6 dogs, 1 cat, 2 rats, and around 5 fish (last count);
• I lug a huge amount of emotional baggage around with me, especially about men;
• My religious views are not exactly ‘mainstream’;
• I shun most traditional views and rituals;
• I know what I don’t want, as opposed to what I want;
• As the years trot by, I become more and more crusty and full of shit;
• I’m not easily intimidated;
• I want more kids;
• The one (kid) I have has ADHD, and has to follow a special eating plan, together with being ‘brushed’ (yes, like grooming a puppy) every day. The ADHD makes him really, really, active, and really, really, demanding when it comes to attention.


Now, I can certainly see how that might make me ‘complicated’ in people’s eyes, don’t you? (Yeah, took me a while, too, but hey, different strokes, and all that). So, more reasons I guess, proving why I’m better off alone.

Now, if only I could convince my heart of that, we’ll be a little less miserable (I’m just guessing at this stage).