Open Letter to the Honey

Ok, Sweetie, I know, I’m slow sometimes. And, I told you that I can be a total airhead sometimes. But, the penny’s finally dropped.

You used me. And, I was amazed, seriously. I think this caught me off-guard so much because I have always thought of you as someone who would make the choice not to, if given the chance. Now, I am not laying even close to all the blame at your feet, I am the one who started this, and I am the one who basically begged you, to do with me as you wish. I gave you my trust right from the start, without even considering the fact that you might not be the knight I made you out to be.

The thing I’m not sure of is this: Was I a way to make her jealous? Was I a little entertainment while you waited for her to come crawling back? Or was I just a diversion from your usual routine? I suppose it doesn’t really matter.

And, one thing I wanted to let you know: when I offered you my friendship, and you let me know that you were now in a relationship that’s exclusive, and friendship wouldn’t “be possible”, I was actually offering you my friendship, not a constant supply of blow jobs on the side. Like, MY idea of friendship, not yours, which is a little screwey. You might need to get over yourself a little there.

So, to sum up, I’m wrapping this up as a one-night stand with a few very nice dinners, and quiet evenings with pleasant company. Another lesson learned, I suppose. Please understand that I am not angry at you, this was more my responsibility than it was ever yours. It’s just that losing someone off my ‘beautiful people list’ comes as a bit of a shock to the system. And, you took that tumble. Maybe after all these years, it was time.

I am taking my lesson like a good girl, stop putting people on pedestals, and conjuring characteristics out of thin air. We are all, in the end, beautiful, but our choices may not always be. I’m happy for you, and I hope that your exclusive relationship is exactly what you asked for. Which is what we get anyway, exactly what we ask for, I asked for you, and that’s what I got. The real you, not the one in my mind. And you are truly beautiful Sweets, beautiful and human, just like me.

I wish you love and happiness.

Sylphi

PS. Reading this, it sounds like I'm bitter, I know. I'm not, I swear. You surprised me, and showed me a lot of things I needed to be reminded of. You shook me out of my hibernation. Which I appreciate more than you'll ever know. This was a good thing. Surprising, but good.