Lament for My Nature - or - "What happens when you tell children don't touch that"

One of my brothers used to have a burnt hand each and every holiday as a child. Why? Cos every time he'd walk past the stove, he compulsively had to touch the stove top to see if it was warm, no matter how many times he was told "Don't touch that!".

I am mentioning that because today I am bemoaning the fact that I have to touch the Universal metaphysical stove top, I can't help it. And, even though I am not sporting blisters and burns, it does tend to fuck-up things royally. I make these deals with the Universe, and promise that if this and this and this is put in place for me by the Universe, I'll fulfill my part of the bargain which is this, and this, and this. Then, I sit back for about 20 minutes, before I start messin' about with it. And I know this does not sound serious, but to me, it is a disaster of derailing trains proportion.

Like, squeezing an advocado every time you walk past it to make sure it hasn't ripened in the past 5 minutes, since you last squeezed it. It gets ruined.

I made a deal, I asked for the Universe to put someone specific close enough to me in a situation for me to be able to reach that person. Of course, only if it's meant to be. I even remembered to request this happens before a specific expiry date. So, guess what I've been doing the whole day? Thinking about ways to find the person myself. I just can't help myself. And I don't want to, honestly, I want to entrust this to The Powers That Be, I do.

But god dang it, I can almost smell the burning skin, and it's not even dark yet!