I just got shouted at via e-mail. By my best friend. I was telling him about TC and what's been going on lately, and he told me off for looking for heartache. He thinks that my current course of action regarding TC is going to get me too involved (emotionally), and that I'm bound to get hurt. Which makes sense. And I love him for caring this much and wanting to protect me. But there's something he doesn't know about me, because I've never had to deploy this particular self-defense mechanism when he was around.
One of the less pleasant things I've been called in my life is 'cold'. I get called this because when I decide that enough's enough, that's it. And no amount of pleading, debating or begging will budge me from my decision. So, if I decide that I've invested enough emotion into a situation, and that I won't give any more until something (like some kind of clue from the other person) prompts me to re-evaluate my decision. So, what this means in terms of TC, is that I will not let my heart get caught up, although I don't mind the physical desire, that I can deal with. My mind definitely has my body at heel, I will not give in to physical desire consequences be damned! I can hold on to objectivity to a certain degree. I suppose as much as anyone in a situation can, since it's probably not possible to stay 100% objective when you're on the inside, and not looking in from the outside. But, there it is. Sure, I have let myself get involved with people I should not have, but there's no sight like hindsight. Plus, I try to learn from my mistakes, and if I make the conscious decision from the start not to let myself get in too deep, I won't. Simple as that. Cold Magic!
