Now, don’t get me wrong, I am in exactly the same spot, emotionally, as I was when I did the previous post. It’s just that something strangely positive happened, and that, in my life, is rare.
I’ve been having these running battles with the Beautiful Ones, telling them that I don’t want to be here, and then waking up again …. Here…..and cursing them for not listening. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Spent Easter weekend with the Father’s side of the family, and surprised myself by telling The Sister, that, should I get the opportunity now, I would skip the country, and had to hold back a gasp, realising, I’ve said it! There’s now taking it back now!
And then, yesterday, I was surfing, having typed “working abroad” as my Yahoo search. Stumbled upon a site for a reqruitment agency placing contractors in the Cayman Islands. Thinking to myself “ that actually sounds rather ideal”, I did a little more research, and decided that if, one day, I actually get my shit together, I’ll send them my CV.
The shit I need to get together, is a document my employer has owed me for the past 2 tax seasons, without which, I am basically screwed. So, I can’t really go anywhere until he does the right thing.
Anyway, to get back to the original storyline… I visited a book store nearby, and saw that they’re having a sale. There’s this book I’ve been eyeing for months now, but it’s priced way to high, so yesterday I interrupted the battle I was having with the Beautiful Ones (in my mind, of course), to remark that it would be really great to find that book on sale, kinda as a way to illustrate how nothing’s going my way these days, I walked around the sale tables, and lo and behold, against the wall ….the book I want. Marked down, ever so slightly. Still can’t afford it, but it sorta felt like the Beautiful Ones was trying to rub my nose in it. Maybe trying to tell me that they were still around, and that they were looking out for me.
Getting back to the office, the boss informs me that he spent his Easter Weekend doing his taxes, which are in arrears with at least 4 years, and that the documents he owes me, are on their way!!!
I refuse to become all optimistic and bushy-tailed about the future, but hey, at least I feel like there’s someone up there listening to me, again. So maybe, I’ll stop shouting at them for a moment every now and then. And maybe, just maybe, I’m not as gone as I thought.
Then again, maybe it’s that bastard Hope trying to burrow its way in again.
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I made up my mind to start this blog, as a final resort against total insanity. I figure maybe, if I actually keep note of everything inside, it might make more sense, or even better - disappear into the e-world, never to be heard of - or felt - again. So that's what this is, my attempt at sanity.
About Me
- Sylphi
- Tough one, I think I'd rather quote a few comments made by family & friends about me. "Mad as a hatter", "hippie", "sin on legs", "should be kept behind a harem wall", "don't know wether I want to strangle you with a rope, or tie you to my bed with it", "too smart for your own good", "when you're happy you shine", "kruidjie-roer-my-nie" (which is a kind of herb that grows in arid places, when you touch it, the leaves close like the petals of a flower),"my angel" The list is endless, and very confusing, make up your own mind.