Holdup!

What a conflicting day! Yesterday one of the guys I've been "chatting" to on the IDS, asked me to meet for coffee this weekend. I took home a copy of his profile, to discuss this with my sometime-advisor, my mom. She advised me to go for it, I saw an image of myself as a dog put on a leash for the first time in it's life, and struggling like crazy not to concede to it.

I kinda made up my mind to say yes, but then, when I got yet another meaningless mail from him, I changed my mind and asked for a raincheck, explaining that I've been out of circulation for a long time, and had to scratch some courage together. His reply: Ok, he hopes I find the person I'm looking for. So I said, thanks, same to him.

I've decided that I'm immediately gonna chill out on the whole relationship thing, cos what I'm doing now, is IN NO WAY, fun. Someone very wise once said, if what you're doing, isn't fun, or doesn't make you happy, don't do it.

So, although I'm not quitting (cos the angels said not to), I am as of now, not having any more panic attacks worrying about having to meet strangers, or feeling like a failure because my mom thinks I'm being a coward. So there, if that's not the plan Universe, you'd better devise a different strategy, cos I ain't playing in this game no more.

Sela.